A few years ago I had the honor of being a bridesmaid for a very close friend of mine. I was ecstatic; I’d never been a bridesmaid before! Just the fact that my outfit for the day, regardless of how hideous it may possibly be, was enough to make me giddy. Fast forward to the day of the wedding though, and I was thoroughly embarrassed.
We met in her hotel for breakfast. I didn’t bring any money, because I thought we were eating the continental breakfast, not meeting at the hotel and leaving to go to a fancy restaurant. I ordered the cheapest thing I could find on the menu (a small bowl of oatmeal for $4, and another bridesmaid covered my tab. Embarrassing. Then later, she told us to arrive at her house to start getting ready. So I arrived there, at 4:00, my hair still wet from my shower to discover all the other bridesmaids already in their dresses, hair and makeup done, looking flawless. “Getting ready” was apparently only for the bride. I had no idea. More embarrassment.
In short, I had no idea what my duties as a bridesmaid were. Thankfully, my friend was more than understanding, but still, if only I had done a little research I wouldn’t have needed the other bridesmaids to hypothetically babysit me all night. So when it comes to helping plan the wedding to helping her on her wedding day, here are the top three things you should know:
1.) Offer to help with the monotonous things. Every bride has an incredibly long list of things she needs to take care of on her wedding day, and you can actually save her a lot of stress by get some of it out of the way for her. Do you have good handwriting? Offer to address her invitations. Are you crafty? Help with some of the DIY decorations. Not blessed with legible handwriting or a certain craftiness? Learn. It’s your job.
2.) Be ready to dish out the cash. Not-so-fun fact? Being a bridesmaid is expensive. For the most part, you are required to pay for your bridesmaid dress and shoes, your travel expenses, and other expenses related to the wedding, like helping throw the bridal shower and bachelorette party. This can all add up to a lot of money, so as soon as you accept a bridesmaid position, begin saving.
And as a side note, most brides are very understanding of their bridesmaids financial position. After all, they’re her best friends. Having said that though, if you simply can’t afford what she’s asking you to do, graciously bow out. Tell her you’d love to help her plan her wedding and you’ll definitely be there for her on her big day, but you just can’t keep up with the financial requirements.
3.) You’re there as a wedding employee. Of course you’re there to enjoy the wedding, but you’re also there to help with it. Painting “Just Married” and loading gifts into the car, helping the bride get her hair and makeup done, and helping with family members are all some of the duties you may have. Don’t worry, the groomsmen have duties too (taking care of an overly drunk guest, aka another groomsmen) falls into their capable hands.
In the end, just be clear of your bride’s request. Some brides want their bridesmaids to act as little wedding planners, while other brides simply want the bridesmaids to show up and have a good time. Do as much as you can, and remember, this is her big day, just be thankful you get to be a part of it!
