When it comes to planning your wedding, the truth is you would probably be happy showing up in a rented tux, saying some “I do’s”, eating a steak, drinking a beer and calling it a night, but let’s be honest; that’s not exactly what your soon-to-be wife has in mind.

So in all honesty, she’s probably planning this thing to the max, and if you want to stay on her good side there’s a few things you can do to help her out.

1.) Have an opinion! There’s nothing more frustrating than asking someone for their honest preference and hearing, “I don’t care, whatever you want.” Now granted, you may actually not have an opinion on some things (the fabric of the table cloths?), but there has to be something you do care about, like the music or the food. Not speaking up comes across as just plain lazy, and a lazy husband she does not want.

2.) Take care of the groomsmen. Having to deal with a gaggle of women is enough to make anyone crazy, so you wouldn’t want to add a group of potentially misbehaving guys to the mix, would you? You picked them, so they’re your responsibility. That means it’s on you to make sure they get their tuxes properly fitted and returned after the wedding, as well as their jokes don’t range too far in the inappropriate category.

3.) Do your own research. As previously posted, we mentioned that the bride should have a backup kit on the day of the wedding. Now she’s going to try to think of everything you might need too, so make it easier on her. Ask your buddies who are already married if there was anything they wish they wouldn’t have left back at the hotel. Make a little list of your essentials to keep in the “backup kit.” Knowing you’re taken care of will help put her mind at ease.

4.)  Back her up. Chances are, there are going to be countless people trying to sway her in one direction or another, so be there for her. When her mother (or yours) wants her to wear something she clearly doesn’t like, tell her you’ll stand by her decision. If things aren’t checked in the beginning, before you know it the entire wedding can spin out of control into someone else’s idea of your perfect wedding. She wants lillies but her sister wants roses? Tell her you want lillies. There, 2 against 1; that was easy, wasn’t it?

5.) Be a sweetheart. This is your wedding after all, not just another party. While there will always be times you can party with your old frat bros, this is a day for the two of you. Getting caught up in old glory stories and getting wasted is stuff you do on a boy’s night out, not on your wedding night. By all means mingle with your friends, but make sure you’re not leaving her in the dust. Don’t feel comfortable getting sappy in front of all your guests? Deal with it. If there’s ever a time for PDA, this is it.

We all want our wedding to be flawless and stress free and we tend to assume that the people who care about us are going to be the most helpful, so it can create quite a sticky situation when these people actually turn out to be more of a thorn in our side. Here’s a few unintentionally stressful weddings guests and a few ways to smooth things over:

1.) The Over-Bearing Mother (or Mother-In-Law). Your mother may constantly tell you that she always dreamed of the day she gets to see you walking down the aisle, therefore she gets to have an opinion about your wedding, but there’s a limit to how much of her opinion you need to take. The truth is, this is your wedding, and you get the final say. If mom hates your dress than fine, she doesn’t have to wear it. Having said that though, it might be useful to take her opinion on other, smaller things, like the shoes instead of the dress. That way she still feels involved but you don’t have to sacrifice anything you’ve always dreamed about at your wedding.

2.) The Uninvited. Running into someone and having to pretend their invitation is in the mail is awkward enough, but actually seeing someone at your wedding who you explicitly chose to not invite is a whole other story. If they’re crashing, just get them out of there, no harm no foul. If you know them though, I say the best route is to kill them with kindness. At my brother’s wedding the bride’s estranged step-sister showed up; uninvited, and wearing white. Instead of making a scene though, my new sister-in-law pretended she had invited her, was happy she came, and even gushed about how beautiful her dress was. The uninvited left within 30 minutes, apparently upset that she hadn’t ruined the big day as planned.

3.) The Bridesmaid Downer. Unfortunately, while this may be a time to celebrate your new journey with your loved one, it also stands as a reminder to those who are not as fortunate. A bridesmaid that has just ended a long relationship may be making snide comments about your ceremony because deep down she wishes it were her getting married. Above all else, try to talk to her; she may not even realize what she’s doing. Letting her know that you understand her situation makes her more aware of how her actions are being portrayed, and also reminds her that you picked her to be a bridesmaid for a reason; because you consider her one of your best friends!

4.) Children. Even if you are dead set on having no children at your wedding (there will be alcohol, it’s going to last long into the night) in order to be able to enjoy the company of your friends and family without them having to babysit all night, you will probably run into a few people that would be appalled at the idea. Instead, try to arrange some kind of “babysitting” service in a room to the side, with toys, movies, someone to watch them and plenty of soft couches and cushions should they fall asleep while the party is still going on.

5.) The “Wedding Expert”. Whether it’s your sister who just got engaged, that random chick at work that’s been married twice or your friend that just magically claims to know everything, there is probably going to be someone pushing you to take their advice about your wedding. When it comes to opinions, be firm. She says a champagne gown would go better with your skin tone? Maybe it would, but you don’t want champagne, you want white, end of discussion. When it comes to logistics though, let them do the work. They think they can come up with a better seating arrangement? Let them try! They’ll feel involved and you might end up with a better seating arrangement.

6.) The Drunk. If you have an open bar, speak to the bartender. Adding a little extra filler and a little less alcohol as the night wears on is completely fair game if someone starts getting a little crazy. If they’re paying for their drinks though, try to keep them talking as much as possible, and if worst comes to worst, tell the groomsmen to take care of it.

All in all though, remember that this is your wedding day. A drunk uncle, an over-involved mother-in-law and a crazy bridesmaid are fairly common on weddings, so don’t sweat it. What’s important is that you’re marrying the love of your life, right?

You’ve got the ring, you’ve set the date and now it’s time to talk flowers.   How do you find the right wedding florist for your special event?  Choosing the right blooms to decorate your very special occasion requires a few basic decisions and a few realizations.

First, be realistic with your budget and expectations. It’s ok to want your wedding to look like something out of Oprah’s magazine or Martha Stewart’s book, but that is only realistic if you have the bank balances that those two ladies have to work with. And even though there are “calculators” on web sites such as www.theknot.com that are supposed to tell you how much you should spend on flowers, cake, etc., these are only general calculations and are usually very minimal when compared to what young women often visualize for their weddings.

So how do you select the right floral source? Do you go with the well-established “wedding” flower shop or do you trust a friend or associate that likes to dabble in flowers and is willing to help you with yours as a favor?

Basically flowers can come from many sources. The source you select should be based on your expectations and needs.

Do you expect full service with several consultations, delivery, set up and rental items, or are you planning simple bouquets and flowers to wear that you or a friend can pick up the day of the event?

Are your tastes in reception flowers less complicated such as daisies in a simple vase or are you wanting raised and low centerpieces requiring a skilled and talented floral designer? Knowing the answer to these and many other questions requires you have a clear theme or “look” in mind and then selecting accordingly.

Here are a few questions that can help you in selecting the right florist/floral source for you and your budget.

Is the wedding formal or casual? More formal weddings usually require more experience and training of the florist. Their knowledge in design, materials, event planning, venue requirements, and execution of the plans is priceless to insure a less stressful and more beautiful event.

Casual weddings for the most part are not as “detail” oriented (unless it is a casual affair in theme but highly detailed and orchestrated in actuality). They may not require as much floral presence and therefore may only require minimal arrangements of non-structured design.

Are the flowers desired readily available with very few restrictions? If you are getting married in September and you REALLY want tulips, then you need to be dealing
with a professional florist that specializes in wedding and events. Yes, tulips are available in September if you are willing to accept the costs and their limitations.

However, there are certain things that you would need to be aware of when making those decisions that a professional floral designer would be able to assist you with.

If your flower requirements are very open to interpretation and you feel comfortable just going with what is available the week of the event, then you may not require the services of a traditional flower shop.

Is your budget very generous or restrictive?  The answer to this question is highly subjective and relative.

Whether your budget is generous or restrictive, a professional florist will be able to give you many suggestions on how to make that budget give you the most value for your dollar.

Never assume that you cannot afford a big name florist. Most are just as willing to work with a bride whose budget is slim as they are with a big ticket wedding. Simply ask if they have any minimum requirements and what your expectations are. Just remember, keep your expectations realistic.

After you have answered these questions, shop around. Do an on-line search of florists in your area and look at their web sites to get a feel for what they can do and have to offer. To what professional organizations and associations do they belong? What is their educational background and how many years experience do they have? Select the three that most fit what you are looking for and then contact them about setting up an appointment to meet with them.

As you meet the floral providers, treat the consultations like you would job interviews. Is this shop right for the job? Does their “look” reflect your style? Does the person you are speaking with understand your expectations?

Do they have a good reputation in the area for excellent work, personal service and professionalism? Are they able to provide references and vendor information besides just floral? What other services do they provide that may make it easier for you, such as linens, invitations, cakes, etc.?

Finally, go with the florist that you feel understands your desires, that are willing to work with your budget and with whom you feel a personal connection. When it really get down to it, when comparing apples to apples, most floral shops of comparable abilities, products and levels of service, will have comparable prices. It really does boil down to finding someone with whom you connect.

Once you find that floral shop, trust them and listen to their recommendations.
They are the professionals and have a professional stake in your wedding. Yes,
it is your day, but it is also their name on the flowers. Communication is crucial. Allow them to guide you in what flowers are in season, what designs are going to look best for a given situation, and how to make your wedding day as beautiful as possible.

Once you do that, relax and allow the professional to do what they do best. Enjoy
the day and know that you have selected the right florist for the job.

We met in her hotel for breakfast. I didn’t bring any money, because I thought we were eating the continental breakfast, not meeting at the hotel and leaving to go to a fancy restaurant. I ordered the cheapest thing I could find on the menu (a small bowl of oatmeal for $4, and another bridesmaid covered my tab. Embarrassing. Then later, she told us to arrive at her house to start getting ready. So I arrived there, at 4:00, my hair still wet from my shower to discover all the other bridesmaids already in their dresses, hair and makeup done, looking flawless. “Getting ready” was apparently only for the bride. I had no idea. More embarrassment.

In short, I had no idea what my duties as a bridesmaid were. Thankfully, my friend was more than understanding, but still, if only I had done a little research I wouldn’t have needed the other bridesmaids to hypothetically babysit me all night. So when it comes to helping plan the wedding to helping her on her wedding day, here are the top three things you should know:

1.) Offer to help with the monotonous things. Every bride has an incredibly long list of things she needs to take care of on her wedding day, and you can actually save her a lot of stress by get some of it out of the way for her. Do you have good handwriting? Offer to address her invitations. Are you crafty? Help with some of the DIY decorations. Not blessed with legible handwriting or a certain craftiness? Learn. It’s your job.

2.) Be ready to dish out the cash. Not-so-fun fact? Being a bridesmaid is expensive. For the most part, you are required to pay for your bridesmaid dress and shoes, your travel expenses, and other expenses related to the wedding, like helping throw the bridal shower and bachelorette party. This can all add up to a lot of money, so as soon as you accept a bridesmaid position, begin saving.

And as a side note, most brides are very understanding of their bridesmaids financial position. After all, they’re her best friends. Having said that though, if you simply can’t afford what she’s asking you to do, graciously bow out. Tell her you’d love to help her plan her wedding and you’ll definitely be there for her on her big day, but you just can’t keep up with the financial requirements.

3.) You’re there as a wedding employee. Of course you’re there to enjoy the wedding, but you’re also there to help with it. Painting “Just Married” and loading gifts into the car, helping the bride get her hair and makeup done, and helping with family members are all some of the duties you may have. Don’t worry, the groomsmen have duties too (taking care of an overly drunk guest, aka another groomsmen) falls into their capable hands.

In the end, just be clear of your bride’s request. Some brides want their bridesmaids to act as little wedding planners, while other brides simply want the bridesmaids to show up and have a good time. Do as much as you can, and remember, this is her big day, just be thankful you get to be a part of it!

Think about it; as beautiful as that cake is, it’s good for the day and maybe frozen a bit longer. That dress? Gorgeous, no doubt, but the most amount of time people are going to be looking at it isn’t on your wedding day, but in years to come in photographs. The flowers and the venue is all for one day, but the pictures? They’re what you have for the rest of your life.

Now having said that, let’s get to it!

1.) Start looking early. Good photographers are often booked up years in advance, and even newly established photographers can be tough to nail down during the busy wedding months of summertime and early fall. So the second you get engaged (well, after you’ve done a respectable amount of celebrating), start looking around.

2.) Compare. In this case, it can be difficult to hire a photographer based strictly on experience. There are many photographers who have been shooting weddings for 20 years, but that doesn’t mean they have more creative vision than someone who’s been in the business 5 years and just “gets it”. Before you start looking at prices, browse websites for portfolio examples. If you like what you see, write down their rates and add them to a list to be narrowed down later. At this point, you’re just looking for a photographer you’re confident can produce beautiful pictures at your wedding.

3.) Experience. Now we get to experience, and not just as a professional photographer, but as a wedding photographer. Weddings provide an entirely different set of obstacles for a photographer than other settings. They must know how to get the picture without getting in the way, how to deal with the flash of guests taking their own pictures, and how to conduct themselves during a wedding. Because this is a “once in a lifetime” occurrence, there’s not time to miss the shot. An experienced wedding photographer knows where they have to be at all times to get the upcoming shot. Would you rather they learn the best places to stand at your wedding or at someone else’s?

4.) What does the cost include? Negatives may be tempting, but digital collection has been the most recent development, and a certain amount of editing may or may not be covered. In addition, make sure to ask if the cost covers the presence of a “second shoot,” or a second photographer who takes extra photographs at different angles. Sometimes this person is included in the cost, sometimes they are not. If they are, score! Having a ‘second shoot’ at your wedding decreases the chances of any perfect shots being missed.

5.) Where can you find feedback? If there is feedback on their website (which there probably is), you can bet it’s going to be the favorable kind. Check out other sources, like Yelp where you can research businesses and professionals to see what their clients really think of them. When all is said and done, you want to be sure your pictures are exactly what you were hoping for: a beautiful preservation of one of the best days of your life.

The song you choose for your first dance says a lot about you as a couple. Also, because music is such a powerful recollection tool, it instantly solidifies the memory of your wedding. Of all the things that go into planning your wedding day, the song you choose for your first dance will definitely be one of the most significant. So how about a few tips?

1.) Work together. This is not something that you or your spouse gets to simply “sign off” on. The flowers? Fine. The cake? Maybe. But the wedding song….absolutely not. Make a list of all the songs that instantly remind you of your spouse, and for what reasons. Is it the words? Is it the song that was playing the first time you kissed? Is it the song they sing in the shower every Monday morning? Have your fiance do the same, and you should have a decent list of songs.

2.) Think of what mood you want to convey. On your wedding day, think of how you want your friends and family to feel during the first song. Are you going for that, “Aw, they’re so romantic!” vibe, or for more of a, “Man they always have a good time together!” feel. If you both met during a dance class, why not choose a song that allows you two to show off your moves?

3.) Know the lyrics. Even if you think the song is beautiful, know the lyrics. A friend of mine was absolutely in love with the song “Some Devil” by Dave Matthews Band as a wedding song until she found out the lyrics are about one person drinking their life away while grieving the death of another. It’s an absolutely gorgeous song, but she was looking for a happier send-off into marriage. Plus, you need to be aware of any profanity. As beautiful a moment it might seem to you, Grandma may not find it so charming. Make sure you decide beforehand if you want Grandma to be happy or if she can just deal with it.

4.) Search for covers. One of the best ways to make your wedding song your own is to find a fresh cover to a classic song. The song, “Faithfully” by Journey is a classic wedding song, but the original may seem a bit overdone. A new acoustic version done by an unknown artist can make an old song completely unique, and therefore completely memorable for all the right reasons.

5.) Consider a first and last dance song. If you absolutely can’t agree on a song (hey, it could happen!), consider having a “first” dance and a “last” dance. If you want something romantic and your future husband wants something upbeat that he can spin you around the floor to, you get the last straw on the “first” dance song and he gets the final say on the “last” dance song. This should ensure you both get the honeymoon send-off you were hoping for.

1.) No Self-Tanning! There are very few women in this world (and I mean very few) that have any idea what they’re doing when it comes to self-tanning. And even if you are one of the rare ones (of which I am incredibly jealous) that understands the proper application techniques to avoid becoming some version of an orange-tinted striped catastrophe, don’t risk it. Sure if it all goes perfect you could be walking down the aisle with a perfect bronze glow, but the chances are pretty slim. And what’s the alternative? You look like a mess, your wedding dress turns orange where it touches your skin, and your wedding photos need to be drastically retouched. Don’t risk it.

2.) No hangover! This is your wedding day. If there was ever a day you wanted to last forever, wouldn’t this be it? And besides, don’t you want to give your photographer the best possible picture options? Being hungover means all you’ll be thinking about is crawling back to bed, and furthermore, it robs your future spouse of an incredible day with you. Schedule the bachlorette party the week before your wedding night, get a good night’s rest and show up ready to get married.

3.) No new dermatologist treatments or makeup! As gorgeous as Jennifer Lopez says she feels after a facial, your wedding day is not the day to experiment. Even if you’ve been getting the same treatments from the same person for years, skip it on your big day. Same goes with makeup; you want to make sure the makeup you’re wearing is something you’ve worn before and are comfortable with. For the record, your cousin’s brilliant idea of adding “just a touch” of purple eye shadow to your look is a very, very bad idea.

4.) No responsibilities! Delegate, delegate, delegate. You’ve been stressing over planning this wedding since the day you got engaged, and it’s done! It’s all planned! If anything goes wrong now just appoint someone else to take care of it. This is your day, and you shouldn’t be working the entire time, you should be enjoying yourself! Make a promise to yourself, you can plan up until the night before, but from the second you wake up in the morning, it’s all about enjoying your party.

5.) No grudges! So your mom ended up going behind your back and inviting your high school ex-boyfriend and your brother is already half drunk before the reception even starts (even though he promised to take it easy), this is not the time to worry about these things. As mentioned in the previous example; delegate. Tell someone you don’t want your ex here, regardless of what your mother told him, have one of the groomsmen keep an eye on your brother, and then let it go! You have the rest of your life to call out your mother and sober up your brother. But whatever happens today, it is not your job to fix it. Your job is to get married, eat cake, look incredible and have the best day of your life.

1.) Color and Prints! Oh be still my heart. As an avid lover of color (if it were up to me, the walls in my house would resemble an freestyle artist’s canvas, covered with splashed and drips of brightly colored paint), I am thrilled to see more of it in bridal wear. In recent years color has slowly begun to creep through (champagne, silver or gold) but the blush gowns of 2012 are absolutely gorgeous, and what’s more, some designers are even added delicate prints to their dresses!

2.) Lace Sleeves. Blame the princess (or thank her, more like it) for wearing this on her own wedding day. Instead of the incredibly tired ”more skin = more appeal” argument, wedding dresses are going the opposite route of “covered up = sexy and elegant”.

3.) Two-Tiered Skirts. Genius for camoflaging troublesome hip issues, two-tiered skirts have been popping up everywhere! From the flouncy and fun to the structured and futuristic, this trend might be settling in for a glorious year.

4.) Ruffles. Yes, you may be thinking, “But ruffles were huge in 2011, weren’t they?” And actually, you’re right. Thing is, the trend hasn’t shown much sign of dying down. As it turns out, women love the feminine frill and movement they provide, and when combined with some of the other upcoming trends already mentioned (color and lace?) they stand to make a fantastic addition to any dress.

5.) The “Illusion” Neckline. Sticking with the “covered up = sexy and elegant” theme, the illusion neckline is making it’s way into bridal. Though it’s been seen on clothing for quite some time now, the illusion neckline refers to the idea of creating a neckline but also covering up. Think of a sweethert neckline, then add a sleeveless sheer overlay that covers your shoulders. You still get the sweetheart affect, but you’re now wearing sleeves, in a way.

Remember though, trends are just that: trends. They’re for fun and inspiration. They aren’t guaranteed to look good on your particular body type and there’s nothing wrong with that. You will find something that will make you light up with happiness. And hey, If there’s a trend you happen to have your eye on (you better bet I’ll be wearing some sort of color someday when I walk down the aisle!) don’t worry that it will go out of style by the time your wedding roles around. There’s nothing quite as beautiful as a bride who knows she looks absolutely gorgeous.

Aretha Franklin Is Engaged to Longtime Friend: MyFoxDETROIT.com

Now the fact is that your fiance is marrying you because he loves you just the way you are, but the thought of seeing friends and family you haven’t seen in 10 years (or more) can build up to some serious pressure. So it’s perfectly reasonable to be watching “cleanse” infomercials at 2:00 in the morning, grasping your phone with sweaty palms and all but the last 2 digits of the toll-free number ready to dial. Unfortunately though, quick fixes like these are only going to be a source of stress and frustration instead of results and satisfaction.

Instead, consider a much more proven route; one of healthier eating and consistent exercise. And while your wedding day is great motivation, think of it as a chance to be healthy for life!

1) Set some goals. Everyone is different, so try to understand what is reasonable for your body to accomplish. While I’d love to look like Miranda Kerr walking down the aisle, setting a goal of turning my 5’4″ curvy frame into a 5’10″ lanking one is going to be setting myself up for dissappointment. Besides, I’m pretty sure the man of my dreams loves the fact that I can fill a healthy D cup. So choose a weight, a measurement or an accomplishment (to run 30 minutes without stopping) that’s realistic, healthy and measurable. Also, it’s generally considered unhealthy to lose more than 2 lbs/week, so keep your timeline in mind.

2) Plan it out. Now that you have a goal in mind, start planning how you’re going to get there. Start with your schedule and make it reasonable. For fitness purposes, 30 minutes of cardio three days a week tends to be realistic and produce results over time. Add in a bit of strength training and you’ve got yourself a well-rounded workout.

3) Pick a buddy. Not only does it help keep you accountable (you can DVR Say Yes to the Dress, you don’t have to watch it now), but it gives you encouragement to know you’re not alone. If you can’t hire a personal trainer (what? You’re trying to save money for a wedding?) get a friend to help you out. Do you have any who are also getting married? Even if they’re long distance, checking in with each other every night will still help keep you on track. And remember, exercise doesn’t have to be a drag at the gym; going rock climbing, hiking, skiing, swimming, or dancing all count as exercise!

4) Document. Creating a food journal and a workout journal have been proven methods for helping people reach their fitness goals. Start with where you are now (current weight, measurement or fitness level), and document your daily food intake and your progress. And remember, gradual changes make a difference. Of course you’re going to indulge once in awhile (cake tastings, anyone?) but writing everything down will help you see when you indulge more often than you realize.

5) Stay positive. Above all, understand that weighing 10 pounds less isn’t going to change who you are at heart. Regardless of whether or not you meet your fitness goals, keep your chin up! You’re getting married for crying out loud, congratulations!